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Don’t explain it. I mean… you get it.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Khaki","offer_id":46490756120766,"sku":"13200185706818839482","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0754\/8515\/1422\/files\/20260313173523-1f11f030-393d-6628-ba6a-12e2a8ae12ae.jpg?v=1773423429"},{"product_id":"dont-even-hat","title":"don't even. corduroy hat.","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e100% Cotton Corduroy:\u003c\/strong\u003e Soft, ribbed, and feels like a hug for your head (the only kind of hug we’re accepting right now).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnstructured \u0026amp; Low-Profile: \u003c\/strong\u003eA soft, six-panel silhouette that sits relaxed and natural, perfect for staying quiet.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eElevated Hardware:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features an adjustable strap with a gold-colored metal buckle for a fit much more flexible than your patience.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Six embroidered eyelets and a cotton twill sweatband to keep you comfortable through uncomfortable situations.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHand-Stitched Style:\u003c\/strong\u003e Front embroidery that will not peel, crack, or fade over time.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSlip it on. 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It’s unimpressive.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46554435092670,"sku":"10930103310806662358","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon","offer_id":46554435125438,"sku":"39198921916860866417","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0754\/8515\/1422\/files\/20260402150921-1f12ea5e-d5c3-6e1a-b5f1-fafa7c1d88e0.jpg?v=1775142838"},{"product_id":"wait-wut-hat","title":"wait, wut? vintage hat.","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e100% Cotton Twill:\u003c\/strong\u003e Finished with a vintage wash that says, \"I’ve been confused for a long time.\" It’s soft, broken-in, and ready to handle your next existential crisis.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnstructured \u0026amp; Low-Profile:\u003c\/strong\u003e A relaxed, six-panel crown that sits low. 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Stare into the distance. Dissociating.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46552699404478,"sku":"14678876471563870432","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Brown","offer_id":46470366593214,"sku":"24973379411640948790","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0754\/8515\/1422\/files\/20260401192745-1f12e00d-c0db-64e0-923c-7e9bbdd24697.jpg?v=1775071714"},{"product_id":"dissociating-hoodie","title":"dissociating hoodie.","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e50\/50 Cotton-Poly Blend:\u003c\/strong\u003e A medium-weight fabric that holds warmth without the bulk, ensuring durability and a soft feel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSeamless Tubular Knit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Built without side seams to reduce waste and create a clean, smooth silhouette.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDouble-Lined Hood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Includes a color-matched drawcord for extra durability and a classic, composed look.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eKangaroo Pouch Pocket:\u003c\/strong\u003e A spacious front pocket for essentials or just hiding your hands from the world.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePermanent Detailing:\u003c\/strong\u003e High-density chest embroidery that stays crisp for the long haul.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePull up the hood. Drift away. Dissociating.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":46558644601022,"sku":"67191860308031861536","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":46558644666558,"sku":"91450685091039725039","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":46558644732094,"sku":"13192239233908150625","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":46558644797630,"sku":"81182233122282467451","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":46558644863166,"sku":"27058351791982897495","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":46558644928702,"sku":"60166483393338478929","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":46558644568254,"sku":"15051646524817186919","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":46558644633790,"sku":"27226081866006614266","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":46558644699326,"sku":"18960218891557271061","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":46558644764862,"sku":"32383443453036337368","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":46558644830398,"sku":"17804588709856873235","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":46558644895934,"sku":"24272995269735585725","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":46558644961470,"sku":"50490615577399799733","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":46558644994238,"sku":"14955915688343037857","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0754\/8515\/1422\/files\/20260404173635-1f1304cd-3bed-694c-9a29-6ef4807ce3ac.jpg?v=1775325398"},{"product_id":"i-guess-hat","title":"i guess... hat.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe official uniform of the non-committal.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes \"yes\" is too much commitment and \"no\" is too much drama. 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